My Portfolio

 

Sign my guest book after you read my writing.

 

Camaro

Are you ready for a real ride
It's like an F-16
Z28
It's just a little bit stealthy
Why drive any thing less
No Ford Mustang can do this
It's practically amazing
Summers were meant for cars like this
Thirty-four years of total domination
We just don't hold back
Camaro


(from a Chevrolet Camaro brochure)

 

 

 

 

NOISE POLLUTION


Feedback
Tuning
Screaming and gleaming
Hippie bashing
Guitar smashing
Wasted youth
Society hating
Watching and waiting
For that moment
Fists fly
Feet stomping
Riots and flames
It's all the same
And we're still the ones
that get the blame.
Playing in a band Rules!

 

 

 

 

 

Nirvana: Bleach

At the beginning of the grunge quake in Seattle, WA in the late 80s and early 90s a band slowly emerged from the undergound called Nirvana, putting out their first album, Bleach in 1989, signed to Subpop records.

The album was awesome from the simple riffs of “About a Girl” to the screaming and thrashing of “Negative Creep.”  They also did good on their cover of “Love Buzz,” an old 70s tune.  This is some of Cobain’s best work but no one heard it because Nirvana went big with their second album Nevermind that hit the shelfs in 1992 and toped all the charts with hits like “Smells like Teen Spirit,” “Lithium,” and “Come as you are.”

Bleach is by far one of the greater albums out their portraying the origin of “grunge.”


 

 

 

Date:
16 Apr 2001
Time:
02:31:41
Remote User:
 

Comments

You did very well. I really liked your poem. Awh... your so awsome.........!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Date:
16 Apr 2001
Time:
20:41:35
Remote User:
 

Comments

Dominic ~ You make me feel like getting a Camaro after I read your poem! I can feel the love you have for your car in your poem. And to me when I read a poem and I can feel what the other person is conveying, that is poetry. Nice job and keep writing! Mom


Date:
04 Jun 2001
Time:
12:05:41
Remote User:
 

Comments

Dominique, great work! I love your first poem. It really puts you in the drivers seat of a Camero. Your second poem really paints a picture of your band. It is very well written. My grading rubric is: A - awsome, G -good, N - needs some work. You get an A. Good job. - Andrea


Date:
05 Jun 2001
Time:
12:52:40
Remote User:
 

Comments

Your first piece is PE1, or found poem, in which you tried to show how great Chevrolet Camaros are. You succeeded in finding very explicative words to show how you feel about Camaros, which can be hard when trying to write a found poem. I felt a little confused by the line that just says "Z28." I know that is a type of Camaro, yet it does not have anything else written with it. Maybe you could use an adjective to describe Z28's. In another draft of this piece, perhaps you should start and end the poem with the word Camaro. Also, think about explaining what a Z28 is, for the benefit of people who may not know. My rating scale is SPECTACULAR, GROOVY, KINDA COOL, and ALRIGHT. This piece earns a GROOVY. Your Evaluator, Emily


Date:
05 Jun 2001
Time:
22:31:47
Remote User:
 

Comments

Your second piece is called NOISE POLLUTION, in which you tried to depict what it is like to be in a band. You succeeded in using descriptive words to show the reader how you feel about the music and the whole experience of being in a band. It's great how simple the poem is, yet it is deep as well. I felt a little confused when I read the line "It's all the same." What is all the same? In another draft of this piece, I think you should change the line that says "It's all the same" only because it's a bit confusing. Everything else is good the way it is. My rating scale is SPECTACULAR, GROOVY, KINDA COOL, and ALRIGHT. This piece earns a GROOVY+. Your Evaluator, Emily C.


Date:
05 Jun 2001
Time:
22:32:57
Remote User:
 

Comments

Your second piece is called NOISE POLLUTION, in which you tried to depict what it is like to be in a band. You succeeded in using descriptive words to show the reader how you feel about the music and the whole experience of being in a band. It's great how simple the poem is, yet it is deep as well. I felt a little confused when I read the line "It's all the same." What is all the same? In another draft of this piece, I think you should change the line that says "It's all the same" only because it's a bit confusing. Everything else is good the way it is. My rating scale is SPECTACULAR, GROOVY, KINDA COOL, and ALRIGHT. This piece earns a GROOVY+. Your Evaluator, Emily C.


Date:
11 Jun 2001
Time:
01:35:43
Remote User:
 

Comments


Date:
11 Jun 2001
Time:
01:44:39
Remote User:
 

Comments

Dominic Your first piece is a PE1 where you took words from a camaro brochure and put it into a poem. You succeeded in making it seem real. The descriptive words made it seem like you were driving in the car. In another draft of this piece I would maybe add more about the engine, color ya know more information about it. My rating scale is A for Admirable, W for Worthy and S for Sinister. I rate this piece an A. It is a piece that repersents you! Your Evaluator:) Crystal:::


Date:
11 Jun 2001
Time:
01:48:22
Remote User:
 

Comments

Your second piece is called NOISE POLLUTION in which your showed your emotion to be in a band. This piece was a bit confusing. But I still like it. In another draft of this piece I feel that you could add more sentences or do something. My rating scale is A for Admirable, W is Worthy and S is Sinister. Overall I feel that this piece is a W. It could use another draft. Your Evaluator Crystal


Date:
14 Jun 2001
Time:
18:30:35
Remote User:
 

Comments

Hi. Mr. McGonegal here. This is your portfolio evaluation. Do you remember what I use for an evaluation scale? An "AW" for AWARD WINNING, a "P" for PUBLISHABLE, or a "p" for PASSING. Your first piece:P . Your second piece:p . Your third piece:p . Overall, your portfolio represented some of the good work you did this quarter. It was a pleasure writing with you this quarter, and I hope you will keep writing and stop by trueteacher.com to see what your successors are writing for "found poems," "criminal mind" stories, and travelogues. Best, Mr. M.