Sign my guest book after you read my writing.
Dear You know who you are,
This is a great poem. I just have one sujestion. When I read this poem I got kinda lost on the subject. I'm not really sure what you are trying to write about. Otherwise this is a great poem. Keep up the good work.
I like your "Dear you know who this is..." when I read it through I got the feeling that some of the sentences were incomplete. I do like your writing style though.
Your second piece in your portfolio "Dear you know who you are" was a pretty good letter poem you proved the point in what you were trying to make, but maybe next time you should try to include a little more detail in which you were trying to say it took me a ahile to get a hold of it. My rating scale is: Help, Adjustment, It's good for now, Need no fixing. I'll give you and IGN.
Your evaluator: John F.
In your PE 2 In which you were describing the walk, was very creative. You succeeded in making the reader feel like they were on an actual walk. I was a little confused as to why you ended your sentences the way you did. Why did you not just end each line at the semicolon? One thing I would suggestion if you were to redraft this piece would be to take away the question mark at the end. My rating system is a 1 to 3 scale, and this rate at about a 2.
In your PE 3, in which you and the rest of the class tried to write a letter to someone, was very well written. You successfully showed the letter on a personal level. I was a little confused as to why you have your lines the way they are? Was it easier, did it make the poem look better, or what? The one thing I would suggest you change in this poem would be to add more about the feelings. The reader seems to walk away wondering what you were feeling. This one rates a 2. Just needs that little touch.
Your evaluator, Shelly
I was wondering why you finished "Walk" with a question mark. Like you were leaving the scene you painted for speculation of the reader. And "Dear you know who you are" -reading that felt like you were talking directly to me. I liked "Feel" the best. Not everything is clear and obvious, and that's what I like about it. You have to work to understand it.
Your first PE was a drafft of the foudn poem, where you tried to describe a walk outside. You succeeded very well in painting a picture of a peaceful nature scene. I was confused as to why you ended in a question mark though. It seemed like you were only listing things that you could here. Maybe in another draft you could focus more on the other senses, like touch and smell. My rating scale is Great Job!, Nice Work, Needs a Little More Thought, and ...Please Try Again. I'd give this piece a Needs a Little More Thought. Nathan
Your third PE was a draft of a letter poem. I you succeeded in a writing a very personal letter to someone you obviously trust. The flow of some of the lines is very nice, comfortable and manageable but i was confused when some of the other sentences became longer or even as short as one word. In another draft of this poem you might think about changing the way you structured the sentences. My rating scale is Great Job!, Nice Work, Needs a Little More Thought, and ...Please Try Again. I'd give this piece a Great Job! for the content. Nathan.
Hi. Mr. McGonegal here. This is your portfolio evaluation. Do you remember what I use for an evaluation scale? An "AW" for AWARD WINNING, a "P" for PUBLISHABLE, or a "p" for PASSING. Your first piece: p. Your second piece: P. Your third piece: p. Overall, your portfolio represented some of the good work you did this quarter. It was a pleasure writing with you this quarter, and I hope you will keep writing and stop by trueteacher.com to see what your successors are writing for "found poems," "criminal mind" stories, and travelogues. Best, Mr. M.